Now the ball is in the bag you would think that things would of calmed down in our house, wouldn't you? Nope! Not at all, no time for sitting still because in just 47 days time there is a huge event coming!! ....It's Mason's 2nd birthday!!! The big TWO!
With every milestone he's hit in his short little life so far, I find myself feeling quietly grateful. Why grateful? Grateful because I got to see it.
My beautiful boy is going to be two!!! How did that happen?! However It also means that I've been fighting the dreaded C word for two years too! Something that will forever go hand in hand and I can't tell you how angry that makes me!
But what I'm trying to focus on is....I'm still here!!! Two years and I'm still here!!! 'Ave that cancer!!!
I can't rewrite the past and I have to move forward. We are in such a better place to the the one We were two years ago. That's something we must hold on to as a family.
These photos were taken Christmas 2014, at this point I had a date for chemo which would be in the first week in January, I had a new born baby, who I was totally in love with and every time I looked at him my heart broke because I was scared I wouldn't see him grow up.
To me these photos say it all...I just look so sad...
I remember it hurt to smile but in front of Kiera I had to try. My eyes were puffy from constant crying but I would instantly stop the second she walked into the room...I knew I had to.
That was then though ....and look at us now!
With every milestone he's hit in his short little life so far, I find myself feeling quietly grateful. Why grateful? Grateful because I got to see it.
My beautiful boy is going to be two!!! How did that happen?! However It also means that I've been fighting the dreaded C word for two years too! Something that will forever go hand in hand and I can't tell you how angry that makes me!
But what I'm trying to focus on is....I'm still here!!! Two years and I'm still here!!! 'Ave that cancer!!!
I can't rewrite the past and I have to move forward. We are in such a better place to the the one We were two years ago. That's something we must hold on to as a family.
These photos were taken Christmas 2014, at this point I had a date for chemo which would be in the first week in January, I had a new born baby, who I was totally in love with and every time I looked at him my heart broke because I was scared I wouldn't see him grow up.
To me these photos say it all...I just look so sad...
I remember it hurt to smile but in front of Kiera I had to try. My eyes were puffy from constant crying but I would instantly stop the second she walked into the room...I knew I had to.
That was then though ....and look at us now!
If you had asked me two years ago if I thought we would ever get to this point, I would never of believed we would. Ok, it's not over it will probably never be over. If I wait for an ending, I will be waiting forever. So instead, I must enjoy and live for the moment. Today I am healthy (ish), tomorrow I might not me but then I will deal with that when tomorrow comes!
I'm not who I was two years ago, I may never be her again and that is ok! I am learning who I am now more everyday.
There are still dark moments, moments when I feel I want to give up and that's ok too (If you know me, these are the days I'm particularly loud and chatty because I'm over compensating)!
So here we are two years on from the worst and best things that ever happened to me, both at the same time.
What will we be doing to mark this? Well, we will be having a (slightly over the top for a two year old) party at Legoland Resort hotel, in Windsor!!
As a family, we love Legoland it's our happy place. When I was poorly an organisation called the willows foundation paid for Myself, Steve, Kiera and Mason to spend two days and a night there. Well, we were hooked and have been back several times since! When I wasn't as strong as I am now, it was a little escape for us. The kids love it and in the hotel, Steve would take the kids swimming while I could go and have a lay down, things like that. The times we've spent there were one of the few times I was able to forget for a while I was ill and we were happy.
Anyway...so being that Mason' birthday is November 19th, the park part of the resort will actually be closed so it's just the hotel. It will still be utterly fabulous though! Some of my family and close friends have booked into the hotel too for the night so there will be 32 of us in total! I have booked a party at the hotel for the kids and they will going swimming after, followed by dinner in the restaurant together and a couple of drinks to finish off!!... I can't wait!!!
I'm spending any free time I have at the moment making Lego themed goodies for the kids and little touches to make it special for them.
I'm not silly...I'm fully aware Mason won't remember, I know it's over the top but do you know what? I don't care!! You only live once and my goodness I'm going to go for it!!
I have a few hospital visits between now and then so actually it's a brilliant distraction all this planning! I have an appointment with a neurologist which is concerning me slightly (I don't really know why I'm going), I think it's more towards the meningitis side of my health then the cancer side so that's something I suppose.
Until then though I'm all about the Lego....and maybe a cheeky Christmas fundraiser!
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